On Goodbyes

8/10/09
I learned many lessons in Thailand and although this blog may be later updated, I am so overwhelmed with emotion from leaving my students and family that I can’t properly reflect on everything, but I’ll try and at least explain the goodbyes.

My last dinner with my host family was Tuesday night and it was honestly the best meal of my life. Although the mood was partially jovial, it was also really sad. I had to deal with teary MaReam all day at school on Tuesday and everything was so rushed since our plans to leave for Bangkok Thursday morning were switched to Wednesday afternoon.
My host dad PaChub left work early, my host sister raced home from school, and all of my aunts and cousins came to see me off. I could not stop crying and they just kept saying “I love you” so earnestly. The night before I left PaChub thought he wouldn’t be able to leave the bank early to say goodbye so we had an initial goodbye. He and MaReam stood in their pjs outside their house as I was heading next door where I sleep in the Uncle’s house. We embraced and then he looked at me and PaChub barely speaks English, right, but managed to say “good daughter”. I almost died. These people are so sweet and gave me WAY too much credit. I will miss them sincerely.

Already since I’ve been in Bangkok, MaReam has called me 3 times to check on me. I can’t wait to begin pen pal correspondences with my second family. I will really miss their Thai spirit that welcomed and loved me as one of their own. I felt so comfortable with them by the end of the seven weeks that I felt like I could really be my klutzy, silly self without a problem. The family grew more comfortable with me over time as well and starting giving me more freedom. I started running alone without Aunt O on the bike, started being allowed to stay up late and create my own schedule, etc. I enjoyed the simple joys of breakfast with MaReam before our daily drive to school—I was the “chauffeur”—to lunchtime gossip with the young-at-heart female teachers to jamming to Korean pop with my host sisters to coloring alongside happy children. Life in Bangkratum was magical!

Anyway, off-topic as usual. The goodbyes…☹

First, school. I prepared for the sad farewells by creating individual cards for all 47 of my students and for my fellow faculty members. I also found great erasers at Big C(the Thai Walmart!) ranging from pink ducks to blue fish to (well, black and white) cows to give to every student. I was a sticker fanatic with these kids and thus made sure to save brilliant smiley face and Disney princess stickers for the final week.

I woke up Wednesday morning feeling anxious and nervous about communicating to my kids that I wasn’t coming back. I attempted earlier in the week with the song-and-dance about America and teacher Deven’s baan (house), but I wasn’t sure if they were getting it or if I should even try and make the young ones understand that their new friend/”teacha” was leaving them. I arrived at school with my usual Wednesday free period from 8:30-9:30. Nhaca had a class in the room next to the teacher’s lounge and I listened to her tell students at the end of the period “this is the last time we say goodbye” and I lost it. I started crying, at my teacher desk overflowing with cards (and my stress-food comfort---fried bananas), and quickly stopped myself when some of Nhaca’s students were lurking in the doorway. They signaled to come quickly as they handed me roses! I went into Nhaca’s classroom and was instantly handed a wrapped present! Nhaca’s students got me a Doramon stuffed animal, the most popular cartoon character in Asia. It was so flattering and I know that these students are poor; for them to pool together to buy us gifts really meant a lot.

I headed to my first class, Pratom 3. The students were waiting attentively and we laughed a lot playing with the jacks and bouncy balls. I felt like it was just another day and I pretended it wasn’t my last class by taking pictures on the stairs with my students and the mural so that I didn’t have to leave and have them stand up and say “Thank you, Teacher”.

I rushed to my next class in Pratom 2 and ran into my classroom. The students were sitting attentively and after setting my backpack down on the desk, I looked up and gasped. The tears welled in my eyes as I stared at the colorfully decorated blackboard that read “We love Teacher” with kid-created artwork and written names in English. The regular Pratom teacher Kamolchan (a SWEET woman) sat me in a chair in the front of the room while children lined up on bended knee and presented me with “I love you” and “Thank you” cards. Next each kid gave me a flower necklace. I held back LOUD tears, but was silently crying the entire time. I pulled it together enough to practice some animal noises and play with the animal finger puppets. I gave every student a puppet to keep (either lion, tiger, giraffe, or zebra) and then we colored. Next was lunchtime. Lunch was over-the-top as usual and Nhaca and I were incredulous that it was our last lunch. Many teachers gave us presents like a real Thai skirt from Chang Mai and jewelry.

Nhaca and I went to the teachers’ lounge with 15 minutes before class to share our treasures and gifts with each other. We watched students running the opposite direction of class and lining up in formation by class. Oh goodness, ceremony time. Every class presented us with either a giant bouquet or a stuffed animal. Each and every student gave us a single flower and a hug. My Pratom one class glued flowers to wooden sticks and created a foam bouquet; my Pratom two class gave me chocolates (!!) that said “THANK YOU SO MUCH” (just as they recite at the end of every class). Then the principal presented us with certificates as official English teachers at Sanamklee School. Many photos later, I bid farewell to my six-year olds and helped them copy my email address down. Many MANY students gave me their phone numbers and addresses…not really sure what I’ll do with all of them!

A van came to pick me up for Bangkok and after many tears and hugs with my host family, I left Phitsanulok.
In Bangkok with the other 3 volunteers, I experienced the Western hub complete with Starbucks (BLACK coffee!), intense power yoga with Stacy (another volunteer)’s host aunt Na-Dao, a pedicure, a six hour shopping trip in which I bought about 26 pieces of clothing for less than $100 USD, and a short trip to Hua Hin (a BEACH town). This isn’t as interesting to write about since it was such a touristy time. I loved the floating market and all of the fresh seafood, and perhaps oversatisfied my materialism cravings with the incredible shopping. I loved the comforts and relaxation, but my time in Bangkratum was more special because it was truly Thai.

Now I sit in the Korean airport, sipping black coffee and trying to entertain myself on a 12-hour layover. I can’t wait to see America. The next post should be more comprehensive of my Thai experience.