Sunday, August 9, 2009

My Last Post...Wait and See

August 10th 2009

This is it. I'm less than 20 hours away from America. I will be putting up more pictures with better internet at home, but I wanted to write my final reflection while still in Asia, in this dream-reality world.

Interestingly, there is a Buddhist tradition when at a temple involving the shaking of sticks in a cylinder until one falls out. Every stick is labeled with a number or letter that corresponds to a fortune. I first tried this about 2 weeks into my trip on an early visit to a temple in Phitsanulok. I was surprised to get the number 13, my lucky number and birthday.

The fortune is mostly positive and I’m not sure if the Thai is translated accurately, but this is what is says:

13

Just like an orchard tree not yet yielding fruits, awaiting for rainfall. Do not make a hasty decision to move away from the place. Wait and see. Some development underway. No child forthcoming. Meeting companionable persons and relatives. Good lucks approaching. Love not being satisfied in the near future.


So except for the love not being satisfied part, this is a pretty positive fortune. I was slightly creeped out to get the same fortune the second time I did the stick shake, especially since it was symbolically my last day in Thailand.

I like the line “wait and see”. The greatest lesson I learned in Thailand was to go with the flow. Thai time is loose. I never knew how long things would take or when we were leaving, but I learned to stop obeying the watch and start just living. “Wait and see” summarizes the new outlook I am now embracing. Through a lot of personal reflection and spiritual journey-ing, I have more faith and trust in this life. Some things are out of my control and I simply have to “be” and “wait and see”. This is a respite from my usual “go-get-um” attitude. It’s refreshing to let be and live.

On Goodbyes

8/10/09
I learned many lessons in Thailand and although this blog may be later updated, I am so overwhelmed with emotion from leaving my students and family that I can’t properly reflect on everything, but I’ll try and at least explain the goodbyes.

My last dinner with my host family was Tuesday night and it was honestly the best meal of my life. Although the mood was partially jovial, it was also really sad. I had to deal with teary MaReam all day at school on Tuesday and everything was so rushed since our plans to leave for Bangkok Thursday morning were switched to Wednesday afternoon.
My host dad PaChub left work early, my host sister raced home from school, and all of my aunts and cousins came to see me off. I could not stop crying and they just kept saying “I love you” so earnestly. The night before I left PaChub thought he wouldn’t be able to leave the bank early to say goodbye so we had an initial goodbye. He and MaReam stood in their pjs outside their house as I was heading next door where I sleep in the Uncle’s house. We embraced and then he looked at me and PaChub barely speaks English, right, but managed to say “good daughter”. I almost died. These people are so sweet and gave me WAY too much credit. I will miss them sincerely.

Already since I’ve been in Bangkok, MaReam has called me 3 times to check on me. I can’t wait to begin pen pal correspondences with my second family. I will really miss their Thai spirit that welcomed and loved me as one of their own. I felt so comfortable with them by the end of the seven weeks that I felt like I could really be my klutzy, silly self without a problem. The family grew more comfortable with me over time as well and starting giving me more freedom. I started running alone without Aunt O on the bike, started being allowed to stay up late and create my own schedule, etc. I enjoyed the simple joys of breakfast with MaReam before our daily drive to school—I was the “chauffeur”—to lunchtime gossip with the young-at-heart female teachers to jamming to Korean pop with my host sisters to coloring alongside happy children. Life in Bangkratum was magical!

Anyway, off-topic as usual. The goodbyes…☹

First, school. I prepared for the sad farewells by creating individual cards for all 47 of my students and for my fellow faculty members. I also found great erasers at Big C(the Thai Walmart!) ranging from pink ducks to blue fish to (well, black and white) cows to give to every student. I was a sticker fanatic with these kids and thus made sure to save brilliant smiley face and Disney princess stickers for the final week.

I woke up Wednesday morning feeling anxious and nervous about communicating to my kids that I wasn’t coming back. I attempted earlier in the week with the song-and-dance about America and teacher Deven’s baan (house), but I wasn’t sure if they were getting it or if I should even try and make the young ones understand that their new friend/”teacha” was leaving them. I arrived at school with my usual Wednesday free period from 8:30-9:30. Nhaca had a class in the room next to the teacher’s lounge and I listened to her tell students at the end of the period “this is the last time we say goodbye” and I lost it. I started crying, at my teacher desk overflowing with cards (and my stress-food comfort---fried bananas), and quickly stopped myself when some of Nhaca’s students were lurking in the doorway. They signaled to come quickly as they handed me roses! I went into Nhaca’s classroom and was instantly handed a wrapped present! Nhaca’s students got me a Doramon stuffed animal, the most popular cartoon character in Asia. It was so flattering and I know that these students are poor; for them to pool together to buy us gifts really meant a lot.

I headed to my first class, Pratom 3. The students were waiting attentively and we laughed a lot playing with the jacks and bouncy balls. I felt like it was just another day and I pretended it wasn’t my last class by taking pictures on the stairs with my students and the mural so that I didn’t have to leave and have them stand up and say “Thank you, Teacher”.

I rushed to my next class in Pratom 2 and ran into my classroom. The students were sitting attentively and after setting my backpack down on the desk, I looked up and gasped. The tears welled in my eyes as I stared at the colorfully decorated blackboard that read “We love Teacher” with kid-created artwork and written names in English. The regular Pratom teacher Kamolchan (a SWEET woman) sat me in a chair in the front of the room while children lined up on bended knee and presented me with “I love you” and “Thank you” cards. Next each kid gave me a flower necklace. I held back LOUD tears, but was silently crying the entire time. I pulled it together enough to practice some animal noises and play with the animal finger puppets. I gave every student a puppet to keep (either lion, tiger, giraffe, or zebra) and then we colored. Next was lunchtime. Lunch was over-the-top as usual and Nhaca and I were incredulous that it was our last lunch. Many teachers gave us presents like a real Thai skirt from Chang Mai and jewelry.

Nhaca and I went to the teachers’ lounge with 15 minutes before class to share our treasures and gifts with each other. We watched students running the opposite direction of class and lining up in formation by class. Oh goodness, ceremony time. Every class presented us with either a giant bouquet or a stuffed animal. Each and every student gave us a single flower and a hug. My Pratom one class glued flowers to wooden sticks and created a foam bouquet; my Pratom two class gave me chocolates (!!) that said “THANK YOU SO MUCH” (just as they recite at the end of every class). Then the principal presented us with certificates as official English teachers at Sanamklee School. Many photos later, I bid farewell to my six-year olds and helped them copy my email address down. Many MANY students gave me their phone numbers and addresses…not really sure what I’ll do with all of them!

A van came to pick me up for Bangkok and after many tears and hugs with my host family, I left Phitsanulok.
In Bangkok with the other 3 volunteers, I experienced the Western hub complete with Starbucks (BLACK coffee!), intense power yoga with Stacy (another volunteer)’s host aunt Na-Dao, a pedicure, a six hour shopping trip in which I bought about 26 pieces of clothing for less than $100 USD, and a short trip to Hua Hin (a BEACH town). This isn’t as interesting to write about since it was such a touristy time. I loved the floating market and all of the fresh seafood, and perhaps oversatisfied my materialism cravings with the incredible shopping. I loved the comforts and relaxation, but my time in Bangkratum was more special because it was truly Thai.

Now I sit in the Korean airport, sipping black coffee and trying to entertain myself on a 12-hour layover. I can’t wait to see America. The next post should be more comprehensive of my Thai experience.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Last Day?

8/4/09

I can't believe I leave for Bangkok tomorrow--August 5th. I can't believe I won't have kids climbing all over me, chalk dust in my hair, after tomorrow. I can't believe I won't be chatting with MaReam and serving as her chauffeur to school after tomorrow. I can't believe I won't wake up looking forward to running through rice fields in the morning after tomorrow.

MaReam is a wreck and keeps welling up with tears. I find myself joining her....and saying goodbye to the students is going to kill me. The farewells started with my Pratom 4's today since I don't see them for class tomorrow. I wrote individual notes, gave out stickers and cute erasers, and hugs (of course), but I won't be detached for a long time. The bright side is that I am using all my materials I left for the end of teaching---bubbles, finger puppets, bouncy balls, a rubber snake, etc.

Monday, August 3, 2009

On Fundraising, Festivities…and Food?

8/2/09

Friday after school, I was hoping to swing by the post office—before it closes at 4:30pm—to send correspondence to my exuberantly awesome friend Emma in Montana. Alas, MaReam informed me we had a “teacher meeting”. I love how these meetings are always unannounced and without given purpose.

We drove about 45 seconds away from school (because our gas-guzzling truck is air-conditioned?) and did what we usually do at an official teacher gathering…sit around, graze on fruit, and drink; this time at a random student’s farmhouse at a large picnic table. After I met the 10 neighbors passing by and did my cute “nice to meet you” talk in Thai for their entertainment, we got down to business.

Or rather, we (the teachers) started walking through the dirt roads/farms adjacent to Sanamklee School. We even passed by Nhaca’s house, and I was wondering how she managed to avoid this haphazard trek. I asked what we were doing and MaReam replied “school need money”. So with the cute white girl in tow, my co-workers asked the impoverished parents of our students, shack by shack, for donations while I smiled and “kop khun ka”—ed(thank you—ed) everyone. I asked what the money was for, and after some initial communication issues, figured out we were trying to fund the paving our dirt/pot-hole ridden rode at Sanamklee School. It is a legitimate concern, seeing as our young students are constantly tripping and muddying themselves on the rocky path. Apparently the cost to build this road is over 800,000 Baht, or about $25,000 USD. That seems insane to me! Does a quarter-mile pave job really cost that much money? I guess labor and materials are cheaper in America? It just seems so strange to me that we were fundraising and asking people already living week to week for their change. We elicited about 500 Baht after an hour. This should take a while, unless the teachers expand their donation base into other villages or the barely-there businesses about 15 minutes away.

Random-also learned to cook Thai food on Friday night with Aunt O!

On the topic of funding, Nhaca and I were pleased that “Sport Day” was canceled last week. We were supposed to have no class on Wednesday and Thursday, meaning we’d each miss about 8 classes. Because there is no money “until August 12th” , the event was cancelled. I think this is when the Thai government allocates more funds for education, but I’m not sure. I found it odd that there is no money for a road or sports, but the teachers can enjoy lax schedules and social events. For example, Nhaca and I were invited to a riverside going-away lunch in Phitsanulok on Saturday. We joked that we were the reason why there was no money for “Sport Day”, but that might be a reality.

Saturday, the fam and I did our usual early rise and drove to Phitsanulok at 8am, dropping off PaChub for a meeting at the bank, Fun off at her physics/science class, and Film off at extra English class. MaReam and I waited on the side of the road to be picked up by a fellow teacher chauffeuring us to the teacher farewell lunch. I observed many young people arriving on motorcycles for tutoring or extra class. It’s bizarre to think that these teens commit 9-4pm on Saturday and Sunday for extra learning. I watched through a glass window of a biology class for kids probably about 17 or 18 years old. At least 50 students sat at neat rows looking at a single teacher writing on a projector that projected onto 2 TV screens: “Metabolism: Anabolism and Catabolism”. When students entered the building, there was a SUPER COOL high-tech finger-print scanner! I noticed some kids scanning and then leaving, backpacks in tow—skipping class! After an hour drive, we arrived at waterfalls! It was only 10am and the lunch was at noon, so MaReam and I walked alongside the brown rapids and waited around for everyone. I got 13 mosquito bites in 30 minutes!
Teacher Love

The lunch was not top-3 meals-of-my-life worthy as the last one was. However, I did try deer, frog, and lizard. Frog and Lizard were exactly like deep-fried chicken. The rest of the food was not too great, lots of pork and liver things. I had 3 noi-na (an amazing Thai fruit) instead and felt stuffed. The teacher entertained us with Thai karaoke, complete with hyper-active music videos and crazy-on-ice-cubed-beer MaReam, who turns out to be quite the seductive singer. Then Nhaca escaped the madness with her Pa (another teacher) while I was toted off to the next karaoke fest at a chicken farm another 35 minutes away. It was hot and the speakers were blasting so loudly that I’m sure I lost hearing. After that, MaReam and I were dropped off in Phitsanulok at PaChub’s bank. I joined Fun and some friends for coconut shakes while the rest of my family went to the hospital! Film developed a pea-sized cyst in her arm and after a day’s discomfort, underwent surgery. I was really confused because cyst kept sounding like “sis” and I was like “I know she’s my sister, what’s wrong with her!?”

One of Fun’s friends drove us (quite well, especially in the Thai world of driving that ignores traffic signals and uses horns instead) to a going-away party for one of Fun’s friends going to America. This extremely loud teen is heading to do her senior year of high school in Kansas. The party was lavish, at a restaurant where you put raw meat into a boiling pot and make your own soup. Many of Fun’s friends spoke excellent English and asked me questions about the yet-to-be-released season 2 of Gossip Girl, Super Junior (a Korean boy-band which I was completely unfamiliar with until Thailand), the joys of Prom, and other “American” teenager things. 2 of the girls had been on a 3 week exchange in Minnesota. Interesting places they send these Thai kids! I haven’t even been West of Kentucky, myself!
Noshing!
Sunday we went to Phitsanulok again, this time at 7am because PaChub had an 8 am meeting. He honestly works more than anyone I know in the US. MaReam and Fun (Film stayed home to recover from surgery—read: watch TV!) and I had a rice breakfast in the city before Fun began tutoring at 9am. Then MaReam and I went to Big C (the incredible Thai megastore) and I bought so many cooking ingredients for the big Thai dinner I’m planning at home. Next we picked up PaChub early and went to an amazing expo on Thailand tourism. I got the usual breathing mask and hand sanitizer before entering a giant room with many regional crafts, foods, and stage performances. I watched Thai fighters gut it out, but apparently missed the transvestite show that Nhaca went to on Saturday at this same weekend event. We shopped and sampled Thai specialties and I did lots of shopping that I can’t go into detail about ;). After picking up Fun we headed home and I enjoyed packing and chilling with the fam for my last weekend in Bangkratum.

3 more days of teaching and then beaches, Bangkok, Seoul, and New York on August 12th!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

On the "count-down"

Friday July 31st:

This being the last day of July and my fourth to last day of teaching, numbers were on the brain. WE LOVE NUMBERS!

I had the best day of teaching so far. With my littlest kids, we read a story about ONE dog that I brought along with some other donated books curtesey of the good old Durham library. This one is particularly useful because kids could identify the bright colors of the TWELVE strawberries on the ONE dog’s birthday cake (realistic? Only in America, right?). I found a great sing-a-long book and taught my kids a numbers song after they demonstrated their counting ability with our favorite pass-the-bouncy-ball game. Check out a video of Pratom 2 here:

Other classes also read the ONE dog book and then drew dog pictures, being sure to label the colors they used. I love interdisciplinary learning (if colors and numbers are interdisciplinary) and singing and coloring are my new favorite pastimes.
I also was graced with beautiful heart-shaped valentines that say “I love you” from my Pratom 4. I almost started crying….I am going to be a wreck this week as I only have 3 days left of smiling, giggling, loving children. Well at least I have another career possibility I wasn’t considering before! I love teaching and think ESL is such an exciting way to see a country and culture. I would love to become certified and continue to explore Asia!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

My students!

Oh my goodness. I don't know how I am going to leave this place. Since I only have four more days of teaching (F, M, T, W), the time is seriously ticking. These children brighten every moment of my day and I'm so accustomed to them grabbing my legs or showing me random dead bugs under their desks. I'll miss their antics, enthusiasm, and most of all, their love. This sounds so cheesy, but I feel so much warmth after a day with my kids. Of course, I'm exhausted, dripping in sweat/colored pencil shavings/chalk, but I'm smiling.

Hard at work!


Yesterday while walking to lunch I was grabbed out of surprise by one of my six year olds. Walking ahead of me, Tom stopped and spun, shouting "I LOVE YOU TEACHER DEVEN!" and ran full speed, nearly knocking me over with his embrace. I almost lost it right there.

I attempted to communicate to my P4 class (10 year olds) that I was only to share one more class with them. This took lots of my acting and artistic (hmm) ability to illustrate an airplane, stick figures, and lots of thai translation for THURSDAY and FAMILY and LEAVE. My students seemed confused and one student Mod who barely spoke the whole time stood up and asked "Teacher Deven live Thailand?" The other students stood up too and started jabbering in Thai. I roughly tried to explain that I had to go to America for university, my family, etc...but then Mod asked to approach the blackboard. He erased my airplane from Thailand to America and drew it flying the other way. He looked at me with questioning eyes.

I had to take out my Thai money to explain that I wasn't sure when I was coming back. The students started jabbering again. I appeased them by saying "3 years maybe? You will be 13 years old". They started smiling again. Gah these kids kill me.

Nhaca and I are currently undertaking a mural project in the outdoor stairwell of Sanamklee school. We are painting a world map with different colored continents-planning to make the USA and Thailand the same color for symbolism. We started having the kids individually make handprints in multicolored paint today. It was hilarious to watch my kids squel with delight. THis is a very clean culture--for example, my kids all bring toothbrushes and toothpaste to school to brush after lunch. Even Nhaca's 15 year olds brush! To put their HANDS in PAINT was outrageous--and fun. They loved it and I helped them spread their fingers to get neat prints.

Nhaca and our lovely half-finished mural!


Can't believe I only have 4 more days of bliss...Bangkok should be great, though, and I'm ready to see good old America.